Yup, that’s right. The title really does say it all, “Someone just hit me in the head with a ping pong paddle” So, I’ll tell you what happened. After I got down with my Engineering 111 Exam from 6:30-8:00, and after i watched boys play soccer and get a good swim, I was walking back to my room in the Commons, right through the area where they have all the ping pong tables. (stupid setup—I know.) And then, this boy accidentally hit me in the head. And of course, like a gentleman, he asked if I was okay, and, like a lady, I said, “Yea…I’m fine.” (when I really wasn’t—it hurt like h-e-double hockey sticks.) But I just walked to my room, feeling a little dizzy and stuff, but that’s okay because this got me thinking about who I am as person. (yes, I know it may sound weird, but it is true). I am a kind of person who likes to put others before myself, not in a totally selfless way, but more of a, “I don’t like people to worry about me ” way. And this head banging is a prime example. Even though, when I got hit in the head, it hurt sooo much, and i wasn’t okay, but instead I told the nice boy that i was, just so that he would not worry about me , or feel guilty for nothing he did wrong (assuming it was an accident). And that’s what cataylyzed this casual relationship. I think that I will go through life always putting everyone else’s justice before my own, and this scares me in some sense because I don’t think that this is healthy. And what’s weird is that I am not shy or anything, I guess, if you want to put a word on it, it would RESERVED. Like, I feel that I have two different kinds of existences. One is the one for people who do not know me very well or at all. I seem to be very aloof in some sense when I am in this aspect. The other side of me is very spontaneous and random and bubbly and almost whimsical. That is the “real” side of me. My really close friends see that and actually take delight in those charctersitics. In fact, one of the greatest pleasures for my heart and soul is to have a friend who enjoys not only the aloof side of me, but also the whimsical side. But I think that all of us are like that. Seriously, analyze your relationship with your closest friends or soulmates. If my prediction is correct, these people not only acknowledge both sides, but they also admire it, hence; you are drawn to that connection that they feel. But that’s just my hypothesis on a subject, and that’s not even iterated or formulated from some kind of textbook that I have to read. I did that all on my own. :) (FEELS PROUD) But don’t get me wrong, I’m not schizophrenic…not at all. I just think that all of us are like that. We have a comfort zone and have learned how to adapt to other people.
yay…I think that intellectual stimulation is fun, and that’s why I like college so much. Despite the lack of time, I seem to have more time to analyze people, relationships, society, and the main purpose and catalyst of life. It’s really amazing. The above is just one thing that popped into my head. Maybe i’ll make a documentation of all those “life thoughts” and save them forever. Boy, that would be fun…my grandkids could look at them. Well, talking about the elderly is making be tired. Sweet dreams and fishings, my angles (not angels). Make sure to stay straight on path.
-courtney-
Posted by Courtney at October 9, 2003 12:29 AM